I love writing this blog. I’ve been doing it for a while, and it has become like a form of therapy. But, for the past couple of weeks, I have not been able to sit down and create cute, happy posts, because I was in the middle of a very difficult time. My amazing grandfather was ill and in the hospital. He tried so hard to pull through, and was looking forward to doing so many things still, but unfortunately he passed on July 31st at the age of eighty-five.
My world has been darker, and it’s been difficult for me to really accomplish anything. There are so many things around that remind me of him. I keep wanting to talk to him.
My grandfather was always very proud of me. No matter what I did, he was supportive. I can’t believe I never realized how extraordinary he was until it was too late. He took the time to make every single person he met feel special. He was always laughing, always happy, and always telling stories. He loved every single day that he was alive. His lessons will stay with me. Hopefully I can try and honor him in that way, by taking what he taught me and apply it.
That’s why this is not my favorite post. I couldn’t just come back without mentioning him, because that felt like I was trying to brush him aside. But I know that it’s important to get back to living, and so I’m starting to pick up the pieces today.
While I was going through pictures of him with my family last week, I came across this one. It’s a little blurry and probably 20 years old, but it’s appropriate for here.
For now, I’m going to allow myself to mourn at my own time. I already feel better just by writing it down and sharing his memory with all of you.
I never took the time to tell him about my blog, and I wish I had. I know he would have thought it was so cool, because he was interested in anything I did. But I won’t focus on those regrets. I will be thankful that I was able to have him in my life as long as I did.
Rest easy, Papa. xoxo